Build Bridges - The Power of Relationships 3

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

It takes time to build a relationship but most often, people do not invest in maintaining a relationship. However, relationships like engines are meant to be oiled and serviced. Conflicts also arise in the process of maintaining a relationship.

Problems arise in relationships when needs are not being met and by the way, needs vary. There are spiritual needs, physical needs, emotional needs for affirmation, financial needs, material needs and a number of other needs. Even in Church, people come to Church to have their needs met and when their needs are not met, they bicker. Problems then are a wakeup call to the fact that needs are not being met in a relationship.

Ways to Maintain Relationships

Effective Communication – communicate your needs at all times. Do not take it for granted that the other person can read your thoughts. State your needs point blank so that your partner, friends or family members understand what your needs are. However, you also need to know and understand whether the persons concerned have the capacity to meet your needs. If they do not, then do not put pressure on them to give what they lack the capacity to provide. You may be shocked that some people lack the capacity to provide even spiritual and emotional support which ironically they drain from other people. They take it for granted that other people will always be there for them. They may not be selfish or wicked. They just lack the capacity to do so. Do not begrudge them.

As much as possible, avoid judgmental statements as they inflict pain. You can prayerfully and lovingly communicate the situation without inflicting pain. It is great to speak plain language so that you can easily clarify issues. It is not a village meeting especially in some parts of Africa where the elders speak in hard to understand proverbs which may further becloud the issue.

Avoid the blame game – honing on and magnifying other people’s mistakes to humiliate them. There are people who are endless faultfinders and who blame everything on other people. They never admit their mistakes. Learn to take responsibility first. Nobody in a relationship wants to be told that they are not good. Rather, take responsibility and resolve issues. Stop blaming other people and situations. While constructive criticisms are welcome in a relationship especially the ones which bring out the positive in peoples’ lives, it is instructive to not argue to win. Be tolerant enough to listen to the other person.

Make it a habit to always add value to the relationships in your life.

Build Bridges - The Power of Relationships 2

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

No human being is a self-sustaining island. Relationships are pivotal to success but significantly, relationships differ and are at different levels. There are relationships with fellow human beings at different levels.

There is also the most important and significant of relationships which is your relationship with God. Spiritual relationships are more important than biological ones – Luke Chapter 17 verse 21, 23 verse 21. Relationship with God is critical. In this relationship, humans generally take it for granted that God supplies every need of theirs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. This is true. God has been and is still in the business of meeting the needs of humanity especially His own. However, God also has needs which He expects humans to also meet. One of such needs is to accord Him the respect He deserves from you as well as give Him quality worship.

Beloved, God is great and mighty in power and deeds. He created the entire universe and owns everything in the Universe and everything including you and I are subject to Him. Therefore, reverence and worship should flow spontaneously from our hearts to Him in quality praise and adoration. This gladdens the heart of God. Sometimes, challenges and what you consider competing priorities but which are not really priorities may becloud your mental processes and you forget or decide not to worship. Please repent and return to the place of deep reverential fear for God and worship the King of kings and Lord of lords to whom all honor, glory and power belongs.

Glow from Within

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

Confidence Boosters/Beauty Secrets

The secret of a wonderful woman’s beauty, youthfulness is that she is always happy and because she is always happy, she radiates inner peace, joy and happiness which translates into youthfulness and beauty. I noticed this in the life of a woman I have known for more than thirty years.

I also noticed that she always glows from within, again, a function of the peace of God which she always chooses to radiate; irrespective of what the circumstances are. Surprisingly, I know quite a lot about her; her philandering husband who does not even bother to hide his indiscretion; the fact that she has only one biological child in a country where having dozens of children is a criteria for a community award and a goat slaughtering party for the woman concerned. Yet, this woman is always full of wide brimmed smiles and compassion for other people. She is always happy because she chose to focus on God and not the circumstances. Despite her age, there are no furrows or wrinkles.

Beloved, you can also glow from within if you always radiate the peace, joy and happiness of God for that is what translates into youthfulness and beauty.

Sarah, the wife of the biblical patriarch Abraham and mother of Isaac was described as beautiful because she had a clam and quiet spirit. The gentle and quite spirit was a result of her trust in God and the Apostle Peter refers to this beauty as incorruptible beauty. It cannot be tainted by anything. Please read 1^st Peter Chapter 2 verses 1 to 6, Genesis Chapter 12 verses 11 to 15.

Do Not Fear

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

For years, a particular person always spoke to intimidate me and terrify me into inaction, wallowing in fear and always terrified; afraid to succeed in life. I was always emotional and traumatic; having no self-esteem and self-worth. But one day in the afternoon, God exposed the person and the intent of the talk – get me afraid, worried, tensed up and believing that I will never succeed. But all these evil strongholds were destroyed as God made me understand that no one speaks and it comes to pass when He did not command it.

First, the Holy Spirit took me to the one verse of Scripture I read that morning – Philippians Chapter 4 verse 8. As I reflected on meditating on the truth, I realized that all the evil pronouncements against me and my loved ones as well as using evil words to try to chart the courses of our lives were a lie from the pit of hell which would never see the light of day because they are not the truth of the word of God.

Secondly, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what Goliath said to the army of Israel as the devil used him to torture the army of Israel mentally and by extension spiritually and physically for forty days and forty nights. The army suffered for this length of time because they believed the lies and evil report of Goliath against them, lies designed to incapacitate and immobilize them to a spot, neither moving forward nor backward.

But one day, Goliath and his lies collapsed like a pack of cards before David, a mere teenager who had never served in the army and who had never been to war. Why? Because David knew the truth of the word of God and refused to accept the lies of Goliath. Rather, David challenged Goliath and his lies with the truth of the word of God and in no time, that same day; Goliath vacated the face of the earth so that the people of God could enjoy peace and progress in their land. Please read 1^st Samuel Chapter 17 for full details.

Thirdly, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what the older brothers of Joseph said about how Joseph’s dreams would come to pass. Though they attempted to kill Joseph which would have made their words come to pass, God foiled their plans and Joseph’s life was spared. Eventually, Joseph was sold to the Midianite traders who also sold Joseph to Potiphar in Egypt. Unknown to Joseph’s ten older brothers, they were instrumental to moving Joseph to God’s height, plans and purposes for Joseph’s life.

Take Advantage of Divine Timing

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

Divine timing is acting, speaking, singing, teaching, dancing, praying, rebuking, and celebrating when God wants you to and not when you want to. Acting when God wants you to translates to working with God to accomplish His divine purposes according to His divine timing for your life.

When you do not respond to and act within the timing of God, you may work against the timing of God as well as His plans and purposes for your life. God’s timing is always perfect and purposeful. Therefore, make the most of every opportunity given to you in life by taking advantage of and walking in divine timing.

The beauty of divine timing is that God’s times always prevail. When it is God’s time, nothing stops the manifestation. That is why sensitivity to divine timing and arrangements is very important. There are signs that usually accompany prophecies and their manifestations. The Holy Spirit speaks when He wants to speak and not necessarily when you want Him to speak. Therefore, be sensitive to the signs and timing of God. That way, you do not miss out on God’s timing, favor and blessings to you. When it is God’s time nothing can stop you. Even age cannot stop you. Medical condition cannot stop God’s timing. This is because what is impossible with man is usually possible with God. The Immaculate Conception and birth as well as Sarah’s motherhood in old age are some examples of what God does in His time. Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist was also past the age of child bearing. But when it was God’s time for her to become a mother, she conceived naturally and gave birth without any form of assistance.

Trade Value for Greater Value

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

Do not throw away value and run after glitters which have no value. This is because glitters glitter to fade; which explains why they have no real value. You may think that what you have and own has no value because it does not glitter. But what you have has both earthly and eternal value even if it appears not to glitter. The value is not in the glitter but in the import and impact which is what you should really treasure. Fake diamonds glitter and throw up a host of rainbow colors, a sure way to tell that they are fake diamonds. But the real stone just throws a grayish glow but its value is greater than all the glitters of the fake diamonds which are usually cheap and easy to access.

Joseph was sold into slavery by his siblings; supposedly to truncate his chances of becoming head over his siblings. But unknown to them, they were pushing Joseph as close as possible to the platforms and opportunities that would make him head over them. They had erroneously thought that Joseph’s opportunities and platforms for becoming a global leader of his day were in Canaan. But unknown to them, they were in Egypt and the only way for Joseph to get to Egypt was their supposedly wicked scheme of getting rid of him from their father’s wealth and Canaan. But God Who always has the final say had already prepared a place for Joseph in Egypt through the intelligent deployment of Joseph’s divine gift of interpreting dreams. Joseph rose to national and global prominence through the intelligent deployment of this gift. Beloved, you may not need huge resources to make wealth and succeed. All you may require is a divine idea and you are made.

The widow of the indebted prophet received a great idea of borrowing empty vessels to fill up with what she described as a little jar of oil. Those many vessels which were borrowed from her neighbors and filled up with the oil which never seemed to cease flowing until there were no more vessels to fill up was what saved the family from debt bondage and provided more than enough for them to leave on for the rest of their lives. Unknown to the widow and her two sons, that oil was of great value and brought in greater value which broke the yoke of financial indebtedness in their family.

Move Up Higher 2

Written by Uyoyou Christiana Charles-Iyoha

You carry sunshine – in the love, enthusiasm, optimism, joy of the Holy Spirit, comfort, encouragement as well as the unshakeable faith in God to always come through for His own which you share. Do not allow anyone or circumstances to cloud your vision and dampen your enthusiasm and love for the people of God.

Sunshine brings joy, warmth and happiness to lives and people. Continue to radiate that sunshine. Continue to share the love, enthusiasm, optimism, joy of the Holy Spirit, comfort, encouragement, faith in God. Continue to strengthen the people of God by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. Continue to carry your sunshine and let go of rain clouds and thunderstorms and lightning strikes. You do not need the rain clouds and thunderstorms. You need your sunshine.

Significantly, you are the only one who can make other people place a high value on you. You are also the only one who can make people look down on you. Therefore, surround yourself with people who have a revelation of you; that is people who know and understand the divine deposits of God in you; who appreciate those deposits and value them. They are the ones who will truly appreciate you and remunerate you accordingly. Pharaoh and his court had a revelation of who Joseph was. They wasted no time in making him the Prime Minister of the land despite the fact that Joseph was a foreigner who was hastily brought out of prison to stand before Pharaoh that morning. Nebuchadnezzar had the right revelation of Daniel and his three friends. He rewarded them accordingly. Significantly, your intrinsic value in Christ Jesus should define your self-worth, value judgments and relationships.